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Best Game Boy accessories for surviving a disaster

Best Game Boy accessories for surviving a disaster


Your plane just crashed in the wilds of
Manitoba. The wreckage is cooling, night is falling, and you can hear predators
closing in. You search for supplies but find nothing… but antiquated Game Boy
peripherals. which means, you have nothing to be worried about. To survive this
disaster we’re going to take a page out of Gunpei Yokoi’s book. He knew that
just because a technology was a little older didn’t mean it was useless.
In fact, his whole design theory relied on tech that wasn’t cutting-edge — a
philosophy he called “lateral thinking with withered technology.” Take slightly
out-of-date technology that is cheaper and easier to program, and use it in
interesting ways. The result was weird, great niche
accessories like a barcode reader, a portable oscilloscope, a scooter engine
diagnostic software. But none of that garbage is gonna save you. The sun is setting, the cold is starting to sink in, and northern Manitoba is about to get
very dark. Almost as dark as your Game Boy’s screen. Without a backlight, the
notoriously dark screen isn’t gonna be useful for stumbling through the
underbrush. Luckily the market was quick to provide accessories that shed light
on this. There were flashlights, deluxe flashlights, or the gameboy equivalent of
a mech suit. So how do you choose the one best for your unique catastrophe? Simple.
You want the one that will best discourage predators: the blob light.
Released for Halloween in the year 2000, this light was both fun… and frightening
according to Robert Rienick, Nyko’s VP of Marketing. It’s external camouflage and
internal eyespot mimicry will help you either evade or scare off Manitoba’s
large polar bear population. Come the dawn, it’ll be time to start exploring
Manitoba’s muskeg swamps. Progress will be a lot slower if you don’t grab these
officially licensed Nintendo platform shoes. Commissioned from shoe designer Helen Red Richards, these pika-shoes were chasing a trend revived by the Spice Girls. There were six varieties in all, although no photos remain of “the chunky
green” platforms mentioned in this article. It’s possible that nobody ever
actually owned a pair of these shoes because they were all MADE TO ORDER. You had to call Nintendo to commission a pair. But
they were shown in a few art galleries in the UK, which means these are
exhibition quality art objects you’re wading in. “Before we begin to select
stitches, let’s review the operation of the Game Boy.” Your first instinct might be
to scoff at the idea of a Game Boy sewing machine, much less carding one around
Canada’s lush forests. But this peripheral is not as strange as it seems. And the northern parts of Manitoba are subarctic, so you’ll want to craft some
winter wear the Jaguar Nu-Yell, and the American version the Singer Izek, were
pretty standard analog machines. But they were beefed up by interfacing with the
Game Boy, which acted like a microprocessor.R aku Raku Mishin,
the peripheral’s game, let the user program intricate stitch work like patterns, buttonholes, and even custom designs. I know what you’re saying, gamers.
“Jenna, my sewing machine has all of this built in!” Mine does too. But in the early
2000s this was still the dope shit. Plus the Nu-Yell and Izek retailed for less
than comparably powerful machines, even accounting for the additional purchase
of the Game Boy. That’s lateral thinking at work! “Connecting the device to a
Game Boy, music player, or video, the child is excited to receive a new toy. Once you’ve got the basic creature comforts covered, it’s time to start thinking
about long-term survival. Which is why you want the Pedisedate! Which is a bad name, let’s just get that out there. It’s WEIRD. But it is exactly what it sounds
like; the PediSedate was meant to distract children while they were gently
knocked unconscious before surgery. Basically it was just a pair of
headphones that connected to a Game Boy, with a snorkel-like mask that gassed the
wearer with nitrous oxide, like a fun prank from the Joker. Specifically meant
for dental procedures, it also monitored a patient’s oxygenation and respiratory
rates. Plus check out that late 90s bondi blue electronics aesthetic. From
performing self surgery, to gassing a polar bear so you can remove a thorn
from its paw so it’ll teach you to hunt and you become lifelong companions. the uses of the PediSedate are endless. But maybe you’re like me,
impervious after falling in the river Styx as a child, but highly susceptible
to mental illness. Well there are at least three patents for Game Boy games
that monitor psychological health. Unfortunately, unlike the PediSedate, it
seems like none of these made it into production. Well I guess you’ll just have
to go to therapy, a practice every human should have to do regardless of how long
they’ve been trapped in Canada’s backcountry. All of these suggestions have of
course been 100% legitimate, but Gyogun Tanchiki: Pocket Sonar is perhaps the most legitimate peripheral for surviving Manitoba’s lake-freckled wilderness. This
Japan-exclusive fishing accessory was released by Bandai in 1998. The card had
built-in sonar that could probe the water acoustically up to 20 meters. That
info was fed into the cartridge to generate an image with all the deets on
hot single fish in your area. Gyogun Tanchiki also holds the
distinction of being the first sonar-enabled game accessory, according to
Guinness World Records 2009 Gamer’s Edition, the only new source I trust. Like the sewing machine peripheral, the pocket sonar was a good value for the time
because it used the Game Boy as a cheap, easily available microprocessor.
Although withered technology meant the Game Boy didn’t have like the toppest of
top-line graphics, it did make it accessible– the true people’s handheld. So after you bury the leftover fish bones from dinner, curl up with Iorek, your
polar bear familiar, and your leaf-stitch tent, take a moment to appreciate how
Yokoi’s philosophy brought so much comfort to the stark Manitoba wilderness.

100 thoughts on “Best Game Boy accessories for surviving a disaster”

  1. As a Canadian I can verify that all these tools will save your life in Manitoba, Labrador on the other hand is a different story

  2. Jenna. This is so good. This is perfect. It's such a wild series of new facts, wrapped in a brilliantly ridiculous concept and presented with precision-strike dry humor. I can't believe you knew exactly my sewing machine response!!

  3. So your dad gave you a gameboy color for your birthday and you're flying back to your mom's when the pilot has a heart attack and now you're stranded near a lake with nothing but gbc peripherals

  4. yes, but which one of these will keep me from getting stabbed by one of manitoba's many a heroin addicts?

  5. It fucking figures that both Jenna and Brian had a part in this making this wildly obtuse way to talk about cool and obscure Game Boy accessories.

  6. From this list I only have the light, but it DOES come with a magnifying lens. I've also got the extra long game link cable. What would you say my chances are?

  7. GOD i remember when those platform shoes came out… i think this means i'm in the exact age range of people who would be carrying old gameboy accessories with them when they travel (and are subsequently stranded).

  8. Just when I thought I knew Gameboy stuff, Jenna blows my mind. Hello, doctor? Yeah I'm going to need six more weeks; I just found out there are way more Gameboy accessories. But good news, one of them you might be interested in…

  9. opening this video with william shatner should have been the clue i needed to understand how wild this vid would be………. i was a fool

  10. I can personally confirm that the gameboy sewing machine exists and that it doesn't take normal sized spools and is terrible at button holes.

  11. You know this actually kinda reminds me of cell phones. You have this one portable, (comparatively) afforable, and somewhat powerful accessory you take everywhere, so why not turn it into a digital swiss army knife?

    main difference is today, most of the peripherals are in the form of apps and stuff (with a few exceptions), so instead of physically connecting my pocket computer to my sewing machine, i just use bluetooth! +we have flashlights, and theres probs some smart fishing radar out there somewhere

    also holy shit, i am just realizing we are repeating this trend today. look at all the random ass "smart" shit on kickstarter (in varying degrees of usefullness/uselessness/whatthefuckiness). we just love connecting literally everything to whatever the current "almost universally compatible portable computer" is, dont we?

  12. Despite all of Polygon's research into the biomes of Manitoba they failed to account for the biggest threat: millions of mosquitoes per square metre

  13. Not to step outside the bit, but this was a genuinely interesting and creative way to present the weird game boy accessories out there. Good job!

  14. I'm here for Jenna and her sewing machine's long pining relationship. Forget Gilbert and Gill. This is my new polygon OTP.

  15. On a Christmas in the early 2000s, I received my Game Boy Advance SP. A lit candle on my grandmother's table fell over starting a small fire on the tablecloth. My mother quickly grabbed the closest thing to stamp out the fire, which happened to be my charging Game Boy. The fire was put out, and the only lasting mark on my Game Boy was that the sticker that contained the copyright and safety information was slightly discolored.

    My point being is that I am slightly disappointed that an impervious set of armor hewn from many Game Boys was not an item discussed in this video.

  16. Kudos for the therapy mention. For real, it helps. Even if you don’t think you need help, proper therapy helps set things straight you might not have even thought were crooked.

  17. Instead of getting a light for your game boy, just get a Game Boy Light, a game boy that comes with a back light

  18. Huh, maybe I should get a gameboy just to check those peripherals out. Maybe even try writing a custom cart or something, I don't know.

  19. I was literally intrigued by the subject, I was like how can you survive whit a gameboy but this is a lie, this video is a lie.

  20. unfortunately, i find myself in the backwoods of saskatchewan and all i can find on the forest floor is thousands upon thousands of sega game gear tv tuners

  21. I was bracing myself for some rude comments for Jenna like sci-show has for their female host. Sooo good to see such a nice comment section. Also great video obviously😍

  22. I feel like the framing and plotting of the video could've been done better but the info's on point, as always.

  23. I feel like, this wasn't as good a video as many by polygon. It feels very forced. Still enjoyed, but could of been more entertaining

  24. Finally, a reliable resource for hot, single fish in my area! I've been catfished so many times.

  25. My biggest problem with this guide is that, if you had fell into the river Styx as a child a god would have saved you. So your current situation would obviously be a trial of some sort or a "prank" from Hera for being one of Zeus' umpteen illegitimate children. Yet you provide no aid in turning the device into a weapon to actually aid your familiar, nor do you mention the proper method of game-boy sacrifice to placate Hera.

  26. Does the information in this video work if I've crashed in Quebec? Please answer quickly. The sun is setting.

  27. Your "Flashlights" didn't arrive until after the "Deluxe Flashlights" came first, then your "Mecha Suits" the simplistic mini light wasn't around for earlier gamers. 😉

  28. This was the dumbest video I've ever watched. And you should see the dumb shit I post to my own channel!

  29. being the biggest spice girls and Nintendo fan, I can't believe I didn't know about gameboy platform shoes. I woulda soooooooo bought a pair 🙂

  30. "Your plane just crashed in the wilds of Manitoba … you search for supplies, but find nothing but antiquated GameBoy peripherals."
    In the words of Brian David Gilbert, Safety Fan and Bureaucratic Wunderkind, "What? Hell yeah! What?!"

  31. what am i doing with a top of the line smartphone when i could be roughing it in a tundra with a Gameboy Color?

  32. I am legitimately from the wilds of northern manitoba and can confirm that these accessories are key to our survival as a society

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