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Don’t Starve: Survival Skills (Shipwrecked)

Don’t Starve: Survival Skills (Shipwrecked)

Let’s review the series of events that led to this predicament, shall we? Despite exhausting my vast knowledge of wilderness survival I’ve been forced to evacuate three different islands. One, because it now contains magically appearing rabid dogs currently awaiting my return. Another that is home to giant spiders, ugly mermen and weirdly scary little monkeys all the same time. And yet another that is haunted by the ghost of two frog victims, and I still feel like you think this is all my fault. And now the raft is leaking because of course it is. So we have yet another problem to solve before the sun goes down and we are consumed by eternal darkness. Yeah I know you’ll float. I don’t need your pity. The way I see it we either go back to one of the previously mentioned terrible islands or we sit on this floating platform for the rest of my very short life. It’s a tough call. *grumble* What are you crazy? You want me just sail out into the open ocean hoping that I hit something? What about my luck over the last few days makes you think that would work in my favor? I was struck by lightning yesterday, and it was really bad timing because I was recovering from a lightning strike. I’d probably just die of hunger before I ever hit land. You are floating in an ocean full of fish. Oh yeah! That’s a good point. *Exclamations of Pain* Did you stick your hand into a jellyfish? Aww it’s not so bad it could have been like a killer fish with razor-sharp teeth. Kind of phoning it in today universe! Have you considered that perhaps your misfortune is do less to random chance and more to your own lack of ability to survive in a hostile environment? What are you- *Thunder* A hostile environment is usually not this literal. You are impressively resistant to lightning strikes, I will give you that. The only reason I’m still alive is because of my survival skills. Okay? What about all the food I made? You have been eating raw seaweed and sweet potatoes for a week. Exactly. I also found shelter. You sat outside in the hurricane last night and you relit your campfire 28 times and you cried. Fine, forget that one. How about fresh water? It would seem you do not need it and I have no explanation for this. Ha! See, survival. Most of your survival has been an accident. You are the natural prey of natural selection. Even now your feeble mind failing you, and a part of you knows that. What is that? ♫Erie Music♫
*Waves Crashing* That is the ocean. My feeble mind is fine thank you very much. I began speaking back to you a moment ago and you still have yet to acknowledge it. What are you saying? I am in your mind. Then why do you have a terrible British accent? Apparently this is what you think a volleyball sounds like. Great well the raft is about to fall to pieces so I guess that means I get to die crazy and I suppose you think that that’s my fault as well. I believe it is the fault of your boat making skills and your failure to wear a lifejacket. Alright! You listen to me. I may have failed, but I will be remembered as somebody who survived the harsh climate of a tropical paradise all alone for days using only my wits to overcome terrible odds right up until I died in a valiant attempt to escape my horrible circumstance. That is a beautiful sentiment. Thank you. But in reality your skeleton will wash up on shore and someone will steal your shovel. Can’t let me have anything can you? Tadda ♫Living Forever♫

100 thoughts on “Don’t Starve: Survival Skills (Shipwrecked)”

  1. "The ghosts of two frog victims." Nice callback to the other DST video.

    Also, the REAL proof of Kyle's insanity is him complaining about his failures then attempting to argue in favor of his "survival skills" two minutes later.

  2. “I also found shelter”
    “You sat outside in a hurricane last night and you relit your campfire 28 times.

    And you cried.”

  3. I like how the Wilson (how coincidental) ball speaks after a few moments, as if his sanity actually was dropping.

  4. “One island is haunted by the ghosts of two frog victims.” That sounds very familiar…

  5. We need another video later where someone's walking along a beach and finds a body holding a shovel and steals it. Whether it's a continuation of this bit or not, just as a reference.

  6. Lit a fire 24 times? In the wilderness? With no modern equipment? In one night?

    Goddamn, That's a scout badge right there. I'm impressed! Any ancient wander would kill to have you in his retainer.

  7. A wilson volleyball with a wilson face in it while refrencing the volleyball named wilson from the movie Castaway. Wilception.

  8. I don't get the subtitles later in the video. I guess it makes sense with the context clues but I think the person who wrote it went just as crazy as kyle halfway through the video.

    (incase you didn't realize, this is a joke.)

  9. "Well your Bodie will wash up on shore and someone will steal you're shovel."
    "You can let me have anything you ass,"

  10. You guys actually got a Wilson Soft Play volleyball for the skit and I respect you all the more for it,
    even if I've never seen Cast Away in my life.

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