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Holiday Survival Guide: Self Care During The Holiday Season

Holiday Survival Guide: Self Care During The Holiday Season


(festive music) – My name’s Doctor Vanessa LaPointe, I’m a registered Psychologist, Parenting Educator, and
mom to two growing boys. And with the holidays fast upon us, many of us are gonna be feeling depleted, and tired, and wishing
that we could settle in for a long winter’s nap. And so the topic of self care becomes one that’s very
important to be mindful about during the holiday season. And sometimes when we
think about self care, we go kind of big, with you know, lavish bubble baths and
giant weekends away, and all of these kind
of unapproachable things that really don’t cut to the chase and get to the heart about
what self care actually is. So let’s talk about self care, and let’s begin by landing on the importance of really understanding that self care is essential
when you are a parent. You are no good to your
children and to your family if you are laying on the
ground gasping for air. And so you need to make sure that you are taking time to do you, and time for you. One of the things that my own counselor and teacher has taught me is that which is to the
greatest good of self, will be to the greatest good of all. And so really lean into that. Really internalize the message of that. If you can do self, and
do self very, very well, then you will be able to show up for your children and for you family in a way like you’ve
never shown up before. That which is to the
greatest good of self, is to the greatest good of all. So how do we actually embody that? How do we really take that on and make it come alive for us in our day to day lives? One of the things that I would invite you to be thinking about is really looking at a daily practice of self care. Not big, lavish stuff, but a
daily practice of self care that has you really focused on the things that are gonna make
life kind of move along and feel smoother and tick for you. I have a couple of daily practices. I wake up every morning, and as silly and juvenile as it sounds, I greet myself in the morning. I make sure that I take
a little bit of time to get connected to myself as a person, to get connected to my body. I often do this while
I’m still laying in bed, and this is just sort of a
daily practice that I have of really kinda coming into my own before I stand up and shake it all off and take on the world for the day. So what is your daily practice? It might be a spiritual practice, it might be around meditation, it might be a meditation in nature, long walks outside each
morning that you do, whatever it is, come up
with a daily practice. The other thing that I would invite you to be thinking about is a little bit more longer term and bigger scale, where you are intermittently
doing things for self that allow for you to clear
the clutter from the mind. And it might be a weekend away, it might be a long hike, it might be a special date
night with your spouse, or an evening out with a dear friend who’s really, really
good food for the soul. So think about things that you can do intermittently that also
really invite presence and allow you to create that
kind of self care energy through the broader scope of your life. And finally, what I want
you to be thinking about is how you can really
make your peace with life as it is, right now. I have found that one
of the greatest things in terms of self care, both for myself, and for the many parents
that I get to work with in my clinical practice, is that when I can make
my peace with what is, it’s the most generous
gift I can give to me. And so, if I burn the
dinner for which I invited 20 guests over, I make my peace with that. I find a way to weave a
narrative around that story that’s one of hilarity and has me feeling very humble about it all, rather one of frustration and irritation. I make my peace with that. I learn to, in the wise
words of Byron Katie, love what is. And so really think about how
can you watch your thoughts? How can you watch your mind? How can you care for yourself? And making sure that those thoughts are weaving for you some white magic, rather than black magic. Take care of yourselves, Moms and Dads, your kids will thank you for it.

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