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How to Survive an Alien Abduction

How to Survive an Alien Abduction


How to Survive an Alien Abduction. Intergalactic ambassadors of peace? More like sneaky space creeps. Live through your ordeal with these tips. You will need Mental focus Acting ability
Brawling skills Iron will A disease Reinforced undergarments and aluminum foil or hubcaps
(optional). Step 1. To resist a telepathic assault, focus your
mental activity against mind control by centering your thoughts on the word “no.” Use aluminum foil or hubcaps for lasting protection
against brain rays. Step 2. To resist a physical assault, act submissive
and intellectually inferior. When your captor gets close enough, surprise
them with your cunning and agility. Step 3. Refuse any demands to take them to your leader. The minute you do you’ve gone from useful
informant to cosmic snack. Step 4. Try to contaminate your captors by sneezing,
coughing, breathing, and being grody in their general direction. Aliens are notoriously susceptible to earthborn
diseases. Step 5. To fend off the dreaded probe and other so-called
scientific experiments, just slip on a sturdy pair of reinforced undergarments. For continuous protection, wear these everyday
under your regular clothing. Once the aliens realize they’re not getting
any “scientific data” from you, you’ll be released alive, and with your earthling dignity
intact. Or, they’ll have you as a snack. Did you know Physicist Stephen Hawking believes
aliens are almost certain to exist, and that human contact with them would be extremely
dangerous.

100 thoughts on “How to Survive an Alien Abduction”

  1. Just saying they use us so they can upgrade the human body and ya so there mostly trying to protect us and learn things I just think there nice

  2. How about "How to Survive a Vampire Attack" please? That'll give me tips of surviving vampires if they existed. ;')

  3. In case of telepathic probing, have a nice earworm ready!
    Bohemian Rapsody them till they sing along.
    Or worse: Rickroll them!
    Look who's wearing the tinfoil now!

  4. Guys, how can I get that Snorlax to move in the Pokémon game? I can't progress further as long as it blocks the road like this….

  5. Fill your mind with Pinkie Pie. The extra terrestrials (the word alien is mean) will be confused, start dancing, or just walk away. Oh, wait, I do that on anybody.

  6. ONLY ONE HINT: Never follow the object or allow the object to be on top of you. DO NOT STOP to film or take pictures of the object. NO MATTER WHAT. Run THE HELL AWAY from it, as fast as you can. Most of these objects have TIME-WARP technology. This means, they can manipulate the time and even space around the object. SOUNDS CRAZY but trust me on this. If you get caught many bad things will follow next. The least bad will even be a nightmare for you for the rest of your life and your relatives.

  7. Ha ha ha! Just sharing your video on FB with the coordinators of the UFO fest in WA state. I will be flying my UFO there:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqsG_qDuZeE

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