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Raiding the SALTIEST MAN in Rust


Fuck your mother brother, actually, you know what? I hope your mum gets cancer bro, I hope your mums dying a slow painful fuckin’ death and that your dad left you as a kid. ♫ I’m so fresh you can suck my nuts. ♫ ♫ I’m so fresh you can suck my nuts. Swag! ♫ finally get a ranged weapon you noob Why are you being salty? I’m not. I’m not salty. I’m chillin’ Why are you salty? I didn’t read the chat, I’ve got chat turned off. Ahah, I’m… Do you wanna hear me play a song? I’m gonna play you a song. Cheer you up. I didn’t door camp you, I just ran over here, hit your door with a rock and then ran away. I did this. And then you chased me over here… And then is your, this your corpse, right here. Do you want me to play you a song to cheer you up? The ice cream truck song? *Plays poorly tuned guitar* Oh, here he comes with a bow. *Sad music plays* *BAM* Remember that time you played guitar while teabagging me? Hah! I’m not door camping you, I’m just chillin’ in the area. I just wanna give a bit of backstory because I didn’t manage to get it on record. But I spawned on the other side of that massive base over there. Then I ran up here and this guy was just killing all the nakeds that were spawning with his bone knife. And he killed me and then I just got that spawn like another three times. And he just killed me again and again. One time I had a guitar that I found and I was just trying to play my song. Oh there he is. Hello. Can I come inside? Do you wanna team up? Where are you even from? Where do you live? Yeah I’m going to come to your house and sit outside. *BAM* Anyway, so I spawned over there one time. I found the guitar and I was just running along. Then this guy kills me for my guitar, stands over my body teabagging me playing the guitar. Unfortunately I didn’t get it on record. He said build a base so… Guess I’m gonna build a base. *Hit* *Hit* I think he wanted this pipe to make a pipe shotgun. Well you’re not havin’ that pipe boy. Did you want me to come in? Is that why you opened the door? Alright, open that wooden door and I’ll come in. Jesus christ! Do you have any metal fragments I could borrow, I wanna make a pipe-…oh excuse me young man. *Gunshot* Is that the magnum? *gunshot* Oh! *Gunshot* Oh shit. *Gunshot* *Gun shot* That’s strong. The magnum is fucking strong. *Hit* *Hit* Why did you try and shoot me? Who are these guys? *Hit* *Gunshots* *Bam* Not so fast bro. Do you wanna joust? Let’s joust! Who is this this guy? What the fuck? I think the other one has just beaten down my house. Why are you breaking my house? Ugh, nice dodge. Thanks. *Gunshot* *Gunshot* Shit What are you doing in my base, are we neighbours? Oh my god, they’re talking, they’re communicating against me. The one with the stone spear is a big threat. *Bam* The one with the stone spear was a big threat. You wanna throw down son? Let’s throw down! Yeehaw boys! We’re neighbours now. Foxey, hey man. If you see those guys, chop ’em up. *Gunshot* Why did you do this? We’re neighbours, we’re friends. *Gunshot* Did you just miss? *Gunshot* I stood up! I stood up! He’s gonna pop me. *Gunshot* Haha! Aw shit, I just accidentally just spawned… *Gunshot* I accidentally just spawned right at my bag which is right next to him. I think my only chance to escape is in to the ocean. *Gunshot* Shit… *Gunshot* Oh…fuck, he’s gonna get me. One hit and I’m dead. C’mon don’t die from bleedin’! Uhh, how am I still alive? No…too cold? Are you serious? Don’t die from too cold, I swear to god. I’m alive! He’s still shootin’! I think I’m good. Haha, I think I’m good! He’s gonna go chop my bag up, a hundred percent, there’s two bits of cloth right there. I just need to get another bag down quickly. Oh shit… No… No, I think I failed. I think I fucked up. I think he’s shit though. Aw, I knew he would kill me as soon as I said that. *Stab* What the hell is wrong with this guy? He chopped my bag up, fuck. How do I get back to my base? I just spawned in some random bag, I don’t even know why I have. I’ll leave him a note. Oh, he’s already written me one. “If you are reading this you are either Faceless, thank you for using my bag spawn. Or someone raiding my small, shitty base if you are the latter of the options, please leave me be to rest. Thank you.” My name Jeff. Can you shoot me in the head please? Shoot me in the head I cant hear you man your mic sucks Next gen, Physcos Nah mate this is my friend Oh, oh shit! Wait you wanna go deep in this man after we killed him? Alright ill spread his cheeks Oi who are you? You got three seconds to talk Or youre trying to kill us. 1…2..3,,, he was definitely trying to swing on you i saw him You saw him he tried to swing you saw him

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